What you Don’t expect when you’re expecting.

When it comes to the subject of “parenting”, finding information and expertise is as simple as the click of a mouse.

Not only is there a whole plethora of information available on the internet, but now there are even apps available for smart phones that will give you a month by month outline of what your baby should be doing at each stage in their development.

When I was pregnant with LB,I didn’t have a smartphone (it was 2003, I’m pretty sure I still had a flip phone at the time), but what I did have were books like “What to expect when you’re expecting” and “What to expect the first year”.

I read those books as if my life depended on my knowing every single bit of information that was covered from chapter one all the way through to the concordance.

By the time little LB made his appearance into the world, I was sure I was going to be a pro at this parenting thing. I knew all about how to decode his cries, how to set a bedtime routine, and even when to start potty training.

What I didn’t know, was………well….

Hell, I didn’t really know ANYTHING!

What first time parents don’t fully comprehend is that there are SO many situations that you don’t figure out how to handle until they happen.

Not only are there situations that totally catch you off guard (almost on a daily basis), but there are issues that you have to explain to your kids, that you never dreamed would EVER need explaining.

I know you veteran parents know what I’m talking about, but for you first timers, here is a list of five of the strangest things I’ve had to explain to my kids (this far, they’re still young)

Number1: ” Yes, doggies DO poop outside but people DO NOT. Now, go get the shovel so we can get your poop off the sidewalk.”

Number 2: ” You’re right, grown up boys do shave their faces. You however are not a grown up yet, if you were you would have known that you’re supposed to shave the lower half of your face, NOT your eyebrows!! You have school pictures tomorrow!”

Number3: “You’re lucky you don’t have a concussion! This is why you DON’T run around the house with a box on your head!”

Number 4:” I’m sure it does feel funny but please keep the vacuum hose out of your pants.”

and the strangest yet

Number 5:” I guess it does look like a push pop honey, but it’s not candy, it’s called a tampon applicator, and it was in the trash for a reason.”

So there you have it newbies.

These are the situations that you won’t read about in books or on parenting apps. This is the everyday, spur of the moment, catch you in the middle of cooking dinner for 20 people who will be at your house in less than 30 minutes, type of issues you’re going to have to deal with as a parent, and the only thing I can tell you to prepare you is…..

It’s GREAT, you’re going to love it!


One thought on “What you Don’t expect when you’re expecting.

  1. I cannot stop laughing! I love these!! My husband will crack to bits. We don’t have kids yet (hopefully soon!) but we work in the nursery and have lots of crazy nieces and nephews. Even still, we’ve never had to explain anything as crazy as this! I guess that job usually falls to the parent! 😉

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